He lives nearby, I told myself.
And just like that, all the hurts from my past came flooding in, threatening to shatter my newfound peace.
I went back to that fateful day, during the fireworks competition at the Mall of Asia. We were just two of thousands of spectators who went in droves to witness the famed Pyrotechnic show. It was our third Saturday watching, and I felt even before Ken and I met tha night that something was amiss.
We were waiting for the next country’s turn, was it Spain? or the US? I can’t remember now, but between that close to 30 minute break, I fell out of love with him.
Ken stood facing me when the fireworks started darting towards the evening sky. The moment was magical, but ours, ours lost its magic. I looked at Ken’s face, illuminated by the dancing fireworks above and found myself no longer in-love…
The weeks following that realization, I tried so hard to re-ignite the feeling, my feelings for him…but couldn’t…until I chose to disappear…like I would always do whenever I’m presented with issues I couldn’t, wouldn’t face up to.
For weeks, he tried contacting me, he rang hundreds of times, and sent gazillions of sms, but every time, I’d just stare blankly at my phone, seeing his missed call and messages, but not bothering to read them.
Then it stopped…I didn’t know when it stopped but there were no longer any missed calls, no text messages from him.
I dialled his number, a robotic voice answered informing me that his number could no longer be reached.
Fear gripped me. I knew in my heart that Ken had given up.
A nudge from an office friend brought me back to the present, I didn’t realize I was crying until she offered me her box of kleenex.
I missed him…I miss us. Hopefully, one of this days, I’d find the courage to visit him and find closure once and for all…