Still Missing You

still missing you…

Had a grand time at the Mall of Asia earlier.  It was a welcome change, for both me and my “grieving” friend Sany.  Normally, we would choose to invade Cash ‘N Carry-Makati.  It had and still is our favorite place to go whenever we feel like we need to catch up on each others lives.

I never liked huge, popular malls.  I’d personally choose, smaller, less prestigious malls should a need arise.  As a matter of fact, I’d prefer Starmall-Edsa Shaw over SM Megamall,  and I’d take Cash ‘N Carry or Waltermart Buendia over the Mall of Asia every time.

After checking out Zara (they’re having a sale) and the SM Department Store (we had to buy some gift cards), we both decided to have dinner at McDonald’s.  We were both craving for some fries.

At Mcdonald’s, he ordered Big Mac while I ordered for fried chicken with extra large fries (okay, it’s just large fries, I’m just exaggerating a little).  We paid for both our orders and found a seat outside so we both could smoke.

While finishing our dinner, we talked about Miguel, Sany’s current affection turned affliction.  It was comforting to hear that he had started taking steps to moving on, very hard to do when he’s his agent.  I felt happy for him.  I knew exactly how it feels to love and not have that love returned.  I’m glad he’s moving on, slowly, albeit surely.

Then I remembered Ken again.  I smiled inwardly.  We were just like Sany and Miguel when we started.  It took months for Ken to realize that I loved him.  I remembered how he re-doubled his efforts to show me he cared, probably to make up for lost time.

The Mall of Asia after dark

I can still remember how he stood beside me smiling when I hosted our November Team day dressed like Galema, complete with green fake double-headed snake.  People were teasing us, him mostly, I remembered looking at him to gauge his reaction and saw him looking at me too.  If there was any doubt in my heart of his love, that single moment erased it all.  I saw Ken looked at me with love.

Then I remembered our time together at the World Trade center.  How he would hold my hand, not minding that others are looking.  I remembered how he would gallantly drink all the beer whenever he sees me getting too drunk, just so I don’t get to drink some more.  I remembered how he would buy me breakfast every morning at the office, our lunch dates at Dell’s Eco-Plaza, him and me lying beside each other at home, me and him holding hands again while in MOA, and quite a few more happier times with him. I remembered them all, vividly, liked it only happened yesterday.

I felt guilty that while Sany was talking to me about him, Miguel and his ex, my mind was somewhere else…with Ken.

I still miss him…






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